in return becomes no return...

Greetings,

well its that time again, i am starting to appreciate the new look for my blog. although it was a fluke and was created by anger and frustration. sometimes its good to look back and just embrace. its going to be such a challenge this week for me and many other paramedic students. three assessments due within this week and one due the following monday. i would say its going to be hell and such an experience. i think i am tasting the potential of university. i can't say that i complain cause i am kind of excited. seriously. but theres always that stress and the feel 'oh no i am going to fail'. as i have mentioned before i am going to cough and hack up alot of things that won't be pleasing or any fun. i know God has something stored up his sleeve, like keep me awake the week. no not really, i pray for strength.

now to brighten up this blog, as of today after many years (i mean many) the family and i had a family portrait. it was good to bring back a good smile with the family, working hard to look nice and just having plain fun. honestly it was great because of being so distance, it sure gave me an awesome feeling, that will never be forgotten.
a downer of the blog due to the priority to my assessments, i might not be able to return to sydney this weekend. not all bad. still missing everyone.

i usually relate my blogs to my titles, i guess i haven't said anything relevant. but there is a reason why i chose this title. just a small conversation i had with my oldest brother that stirred me up to write this blog. i don't imply that i'm not angry, just a little confused and the feeling of gaining nothing in return to the things i give through my heart.
i know its say in the bible i must not expect anything in return and shall give cheerfully and willing. because jesus did, how did he cope we those feelings...

say think of this, you have a best friend and there is a time in the friendship where it leads to a dead end, because you were distance or non-communicative either the reason being studies come first or you lived in two different worlds. you take the initiative to send a re-uniting gift and hopefully re-cindle the memories and cherished moments. you have no answer. you take a second chance and send over more or even try get in contact with your old best friend and still no answer, no reply, or no hey hows it going. how do you feel. personally i would feel hurt and or rejected. you could say that they had a valuable reason but wouldn't you think that maybe they chose not to reply. thats a cold feeling and i might be over thinking this, but im sure this is how i would think about it. maybe because theres always that possibility. also maybe you wish you can read them like a book but you can't read people, they can only tell you. well i don't want to get any deeper than that.

do you give up?

ill leave it at that,
until my next blog
keep blogging or get into blogging

in Him, we live

relgin
keep smiling =(